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What is not said
Here we are again at Watzlawick's first principle. You always communicate even when you don't say anything. More than 65 percent of communication is non-verbal. But body language cannot be controlled as consciously as language. That is why facial expressions and gestures are much more likely to provide information about what a person feels than their words. Pay close attention to these signals in the conversation, both with your counterpart and with yourself. For strong communication skills, it is not enough to only hear and register what is also put into words.
Is my message clear?
Most problems in interpersonal communication are that the person you are speaking to understands what is being said differently from what it was meant to be. A classic misunderstanding. If you want the other person to understand you, it is helpful to express yourself clearly. For example, if you are discussing vacation planning with a colleague, he or she will need precise information about what needs to be done in your absence. The more precisely you express yourself in this situation, the sooner your colleague will know - and the less stress there will be afterward.
How do I say something?
In a conversation, it is not only important what is said, but also how. Because it is often the “how” that leads to conflict. It is well known that the sound makes the music. In this way, a harmless statement can quickly become a reproach if the choice of words is not well thought out. Before a thoughtless sentence slips over your lips, you should therefore break yourself briefly to think again. Often a second is enough to decide whether the next few words might be wrongly received.
How does it work?
Successful communication also includes a change of perspective.
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How does my counterpart feel when I say this or that? This is particularly important in discussions that contain potential for conflict, do my essay for example when you express constructive criticism . Those who develop an understanding of the situation of their counterpart can also better assess which statements could be hurtful or possibly met with rejection.
How do I treat my interlocutor?
Do you let the other person have their say and don't you interrupt them? Do you take what he says seriously? Watzlawick found that the relationship aspect, in particular, plays an important role. Always put yourself in the foreground, this will not escape the person you are talking to. Always remember that communication is intended as an exchange, a dialogue that always involves two sides.
You don't always have to agree, but you should let the other person have their say and treat them with respect.
Did I choose the right time?
When it comes to certain topics, the timing is crucial, for example when negotiating a salary or having a feedback session. Many factors can determine the right time. In a salary negotiation, for example, it matters how the general situation is, whether your boss currently has time for the interview, whether you have had an outstanding performance recently, and so on. This point can be important even in seemingly unimportant conversations. A little gossip in the coffee kitchen is usually not a problem, but when your colleague is trying to concentrate, it may not be the best time to bother him with trivialities. Therefore, always ask yourself whether the time is right.
Am I listening to my counterpart?
For communication to work, you also need to understand what the other wants from you. But that only works if you also listen. And do it attentively and not just casually, while you wait to be able to speak again yourself. However, buy essay online most people are far too busy with themselves and devote only part of their attention to the other person, if at all. Listening also means sending signals that express interest and curiosity, for example leaning forward and making eye contact during a conversation. By asking questions, you show your counterpart that you are dealing with what has been said.
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